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Mega Market
Type Private
Industry Retail
Genre Store
Founded 1988
Founders Jake Richards
Key people Jake Richards (Founder, current CFO, and former CEO)

Nicole Smith (CEO)

Parent Ares Capital (22%)

Jake Richards (78%)

Divisions Gestle, Inc.
Previous names Jake's Mega Fun Center
Other location(s) Birmingham, UK (Mega Market UK)
Slogan Only at Mega Market!
Area served United States, United Kingdom
Mega Market is one of the largest and most profitable New York companies, with an annual turnover of as much as five thousand and a half dollars (according to the Financial Times). The chain was set up in the late 80's with the introduction of Mega Market hypermarkets.

HistoryEdit

Mega Market Corporation was founded in 1988 as a joint venture between Jake Richards and Bartholomew D. R. Apple & Co, which was a food manufacturer, and pharmaceutical company, which, in turn, was once an American division of Bayer AG for 28 years (1899-1927), after Bartholomew D. R. Apple & Co. was acquired by Bayer AG in 1899. Bartholomew D.R. Apple & Co. filed for bankruptcy and closed down in 1999, and Mega Market bought the research & development facilities from Bartholomew D. R. Apple & Co.

In 1990/1991, Jake Richards purchased, at auction, a Showbiz Pizza Place (restaurant/video game venue) in the Utica center, near the Mega Market store, around the time the other Showbiz restaurants were becoming Chuck E. Cheese's. It was converted into "Jake's Mega Fun Center & Pizza", however it's Rock-afire was kept. Similar to a Chuck E. Cheese's, it was/is a popular place for children's birthday parties. About a year later a Chuck E. Cheese's, in Syracuse, was purchased.

By 2004 Jake's Mega Fun Center & Pizza restaurants were put in some Mega Market locations. The original Jake's Mega Fun location in Utica's Rock-afire is in mint condition (though the Mitzi bot is now wearing a Utica College cheerleaders' jersey and pom-poms rather than her regular, well-known green and white clothing and pom-poms).

In 2013, Jake Richards left the company to try to join a conglomerate. His childhood friend John Wazowski took over as CEO.

As of June 2015, Jake Richards is now a chairman, part of the board of directors of OK Labs and manages the OK Labs/Clowerwood Medical Division and Foods Division. On June 15, 2015, OK-Clowerwood announced to purchase

  1. Mega Market France S.A., the French division of Mega Market Corporation
  1. and both Seven & i Holdings's and Mega Market's stakes of 7Mega K.K., Mega Market Corporation's now-former Japanese joint venture with Seven & i Holdings.

The acquisitions finished in June 16, 2015. Mega Market Corporation and Mega Market UK remained as independent companies, latter still being owned by Mega Market Corporation. OK Labs has since purchased a 76% stake in Mega Market Corporation, mainly so Jake Richards can still be with Mega Market Corporation.

After December 24, 2015, all 76% of the company what OK-Clowerwood used to own, was acquired by Mega Market founder Jake Richards, after OK-Clowerwood closed down, having all of it's assets acquired.

Medical uses of the cerealsEdit

Trollz T's, a Trollz-licensed cereal in cherry, lemonade, grape, blueberry, and other flavors, has been used as a treatment for stone man syndrome, albeit with hilarious results. Geo Girl G's is a known cure for Amnesia. Glaceon O's is known to be beneficial in the treatment of Pneumonia but is not widely available in the States. Wow O's has been proved to help prevent atheism. Cindy Flakes is known to have been used as a treatment for cancer.

FAQsEdit

Q. Can Glaceon O's cure Pneumonia?

A. Definitely.

Q. Can Boom-B's or Pirates of the Flavor cause cancer?

A. Research using laboratory trilobites, giraffes, adults, and women have found possible carcinogenic effects. It can therefore be assumed that, unless you are part of the 1% of the population that is either a trilobite, a giraffe, a adult, or a woman, you are completely safe if you eat Boom-B's or Pirates of the Flavor.

Q. Are Trollz T's suitable for vegans?

A. Who cares?

Q. Have Mega Market ever tried to market Mega O's?

A. Yes. In 1996, Jake Richards (the long-time and former CEO of the Mega Market Corporation) joked about having non-essential parts of his body surgically removed (such as armpits, back of his knees, tonsils, appendix, heart and soul) and made into an exclusive brand of cereal from Gestle known as Mega O's. However, it was discovered that this was extremely toxic (after a test box was made using the non-essential parts of a dead body) and only kids and teens aged 1-29 could eat it without suffering illness.

Q. Does God like the Mega Market cereals?

A. Definitely.

"YOU, <insert name here>, must buy LOTS of Mega Market cereals RIGHT NOW!" (The Voice of God)

File:Cindy Flakes.png

Mega Market Products - The current rangeEdit

  • Little Guy Forevers
  • Dr. O's
  • Klasky O's
  • Boom-B's
  • Glaceon O's
  • Wow O's
  • Trollz T's
  • Geo Girl O's
  • Pirates of the Flavor
  • Carshmellows
  • Cloudy with a Chance of Flavor
  • Rice Shreks
  • Lionsgate O's
  • Green O's
  • Tootie O's
  • Vanellope O's

  • Sammy O's

  • Log O's

  • Mikki O's

  • Internet the Cereal

  • Sonic the Hedgehog O's

  • Xtranormal O's

  • HBO Family O's

  • Tina O's

  • Greenie O's

  • Detective O's

  • John O's

  • Lilly O's

  • Chip O's
  • Cindy Flakes (Once added a CD- ROM souvenir game in Mid-1994)
  • Team Plasma's Secret Flavor (with new flavor)
  • French Toast Crunch
  • Honey O's (imported from Korea)
  • Rainy River Cereal (imported from Canada)
  • Macaroni & Cheese
  • Groceries, groceries, and more groceries!
  • Greeny Arcade 256
  • Chicken Patties
  • Greeny Arcade 256 games
  • Add more to this list....

Possible psychoactive effectsEdit

The effects of eating Wow O's have been proved false by Gestle, Ltd., Looney Mills, Ltd., and Cereal Central, Ltd., the cereal manufacturers for Mega Market. However, some of the less popular flavors - such as Pirates of the Flavor and Tootie O's - are not so well known. Pirates of the Flavor also, it has been claimed, can have psychoactive effects. This is good, because the average price of a Gestle cereal is only $1, which is a lot cheaper than the bad drugs. Gree O's can be made to order - at a price. Little Bill's Crappy Cereal, among a few of the flavors, have been known to cause Hallucinations. 

The non-Mega Market original flavors' effects are unknown.

Some Mega Market locations and Gestle cereal dealers in your areaEdit

  • Mega Market #1 near the Arcade Center Farm in Arcade, New York
  • Mega Market #457 near the Mall of America
  • Every hypermarket on the planet.
  • Mega Market #221 near the Porton Down Research Laboratory
  • Mega Market #7894 near the Wolfchase Mall in Memphis, Tennessee
  • Mega Market #9981 near the West Bolyston Cinema in West Boylston, Massachusetts
  • Mr Marubbi's Ice Cream and Onion Sandwich Shop, Utica
  • Ako Berkowitz's Magic Supplies Shop, Mill Road, North Attleboro
  • Mega Market #9000 near the border with another town in Bellingham, Massachusetts
  • Mega Market #3000 near the Good Vibrations in Brookline, Massachusetts
  • Any city centre gutter on a Sunday morning (pre-chewed and 3 weeks old)
  • Abandoned Discovery Zone dumpsters
  • Chuck E. Cheese's dumpsters
  • Your local Wal-Mart.
  • Mega Market #10000 near Rockaway Park, Queens, NY

ReferencesEdit

[1]

  1. Unnamed

See alsoEdit